Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Guy goes into a drug store and asks for some cough syrup. The assistant gave him a bottle of extra-strength laxative, much to his surprise.
"This is no good," he said.
"I want cough mixture."
To this the chemist replied, "Take me word for it sir, one dose of that and you won't dare cough."

Eight year olds and sex
An 8-year old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grandpa, what is sex?"

The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's old enough to know to ask the question, then she's old enough to get a straight answer. Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities of intercourse. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at Him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement. Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this question honey?"

The little girl replied, "Grandma says that dinner will be ready in a couple of secs."

He he .. this is awesome

What's the difference between Sean Bell and an Irishman?

An irishman can take 50 shots and still make it through the wedding.

soooo wrong but still kinda funny... my husband told me that one.