I have always been bad at keeping a diary, this is why I never had too many things written and I also don't have a blog :roll:

But it's worth trying to tell you a bit of myself and also encourage you all to start your own online diary here on Women Only Forums.

Right now I am a bit sad. Bit is an euphemism. I still have my eyes filled with tears as I found out my BF is gonna go back to Germany for another project. He's a civil engineer and he's been working on and off in Germany and Romania.

I am aware of the fact he earns quite well there and we couldn't afford here to have what we can have after he comes from Germany, but I came to the conclusion I don't want anything anymore, I just want him.

He came back few weeks ago (1 month) and I was so happy. I thought he'll stay here for long (maybe for good). This caught me quite unprepared and I know he'll have to go in few days. They always tell him to get ready in few days, so I'm almost sure we're talking something like next week, even monday.

I don't even think about breaking up or thinking about someone else. I love him and no one else but him. Still I have to admit I don't feel that good knowing he's gonna be away for 6-10 months and we'll see each other for 2-3 days every 2-3 months.

I will keep you updated. Right now I don't feel like doing anything. Will watch some Family Guy episodes in the hope I'll feel better

Today is friday. Usually I am very pleased since I can't wait to spend a weekend with my BF. This might be our last weekend together for the next 2-3 months so I should really enjoy it. Still I am very sad. I cried last night till I fell asleep and today i have some "frog" eyes. Swolen and red. I look like a wreck. My coleagues were shocked to see me like this. I'm always laughing and making jokes, they are not used to see me so down.

I came back home and I'll get back to the radio to do my show. I don't feel like being happy on air, but I can surely pretend this. My listeners don't have to know I have a bad day, I need to be happy on the air.

This is something I have learnt in 7 years of radio job and I seem to be very good with pretending in such cases.

We'll meet tonight. I'll go to his place to spend the weekend together. I'm afraid I'll just be too down again and ruin this weekend to him too. It's weird. he's been gone for 10 months and I did survive. I know we'll be OK and these months will pass fast, but just the thought he's gonna be away again breaks my heart.

I'll have to end now the post. I need to get back to the radio station and do my show

I feel sad for you, Ramona... people who love each other that much shouldn't have to be apart. But I'm sure your love will grow even stronger during this time, and when you can finally be together for good, you will enjoy it so much! We will be here for you through the good and the bad times and try to cheer you up along the way.

Lots of hugs!

im sorry to hear that again, Ramona. sometimes i do ask myself why people specially someone so dear to you have to be away? why cant they stay and be with you. but then, things happen for a reason.....
he may be gone but at least you will get to see each other every 2-3 months...that is really hard but having this chance of seeing each other means a lot....and you have to make the most out of it.

goodluck to both of you and always remember that distance is not a problem if your hearts beat together.

*hugs to you dear*

Phew .. long time since I wrote here ....

Thank you all for the good thoughts and wishes .. he's at home now and I hope he won't go abroad too soon anymore. I don't think I'd be too delighted about that

I am now preparing to go to work again. I am a tad tired since last night I was awake till 2 in the morning and worked on WOF layout. I am kinda pleased to see how it looks now and I also prepare some more improvements. I have 20 minutes to stay at home and then I'll be off to my radio show.

It's autumn in Romania. A nice autumn so far, something like a nice warm summer, not hot anymore, but pleasant. These days Junior (my doggie) was sick. He caught a cold and we spent a week giving him medication and going to the vet daily for the injection. He's so scared to go outside now since he's afraid we'll take them to the vet again.

My life is mostly like this: radio work, get home, site work. The weekends are similar: at my BF's, working on the sites, but not working on the radio, thanks God

Will keep you updated .. more frequently I hope

Yeah .. just as usually .. my diary is the one to be the least up to date ... hmm ...

Well .. what can I tell you? Today was an historical day. After 5 days or killing my neurons about how to make 2 forums run together and getting some horrible errors .. I finally made it. I already thought that maybe CVJJ and WOF are not meant to be together and I cannot make them join .. but I am stubborn. After seeing why i got the errors I just tried to solve them all, re-create the databases, err again and so on .. I think I imported the data too many times to even bother count. And one import would be 15 minutes long since both forums did have some activity.

BUT .. here we are ... The 2 forums are now one and we have some new friends in here. I hope they'll like this place as they loved CVJJ and since myself and Rizzo have the same admin style I think we're gonna be all OK.

Now I copied some episodes from Futurama and even if it's 1 in the morning I'll watch 2-3 .. I need to relax a bit .. I am super tired ...

he he ... managed to corrupt one more for Futurama :mrgreen: ... .hi hi ...

It's been months.

I had so many things going on. Well no. It's almost the same as it was in November. Things changed in my online "life", but my normal life is as it was. Good. I am still (some are shocked) in love with him. It's a good relationship, we never fought, we just argued VERY politely. It's something like when 2 diplomats discuss about something related to the entire world. Being very polite and chosing words carefully. we don't do this often. Maybe 2-3 times a year or even less. It's good. I never liked arguing since I don't see the reason. If it's about something I want to do, once I make up my mind I cannot be talked back. I am stubborn.

These days I have worked like crazy. I have a perpetual feeling of exhaustion. I eat well and I try to sleep well. I often sleep 8-10 hours a night and still when I wake up I am 'dead'. some said I might have some anemia or similar. Don't think so .. I mean I eat a lot and quite healthy. My meals are better and better. I earned more these months and that shows.

But still .. I am tired. I have some clients for web design and I decided to start my own firm. I must be crazy. At least that's what some would say. How can I think about this? am I not afraid?

Well I am .. dead afraid. but I decided to make the move. I'll spend as little as possible with the firm while also keeping my job at the radio. Imagine the "pleasure". I want to work only at my to be created firm, but I cannot afford leaving myself "uncovered' like that. What if it doesn't work? I just don't know. But I don't see myself working for others as an employee. I have nothing against my radio job since we just have an executive with us here, the big bosses are in Bucharest. But I couldn't see myself working with a design firm anymore and be abused by my employer anymore.

I had a very long and good chat with Adi too. I want to get her involved in my work as much as possible. I hope we can work together. I hope I'll be a good boss. I'd like to have employees in the future, but I hope I won't make the same mistakes others did in front of me.

I am sad... Mofli, the stray dog we had in the yard was caught and taken to the kennels. I think. I didn't see him in almost 2 days. he's sick. He was biten by some bigger doggies and he's got some wounds. And they certainly took him. God I wish he's OK. I want to see tomorrow what I can do. Maybe go there get him (it's a long way, but I cannot just sit and know no one cares). This night I'll go to sleep sad for him. maybe he's OK. I PRAY he's not dead or something. That they took care of him (hard to believe in this God forgotten country) or at least that he will survive and I'll get him back. We have an appointment to the vet on saturday .. God I wish I have him by then.

I cannot understand why I suffer so much when it comes to these doggies? There are so many people who JUST DON'T CARE. And they are happy. While I am miserable everytime I see a stray dog. I buy them food and give them water. But I cannot do more. And they end up dead in the street (hit by a car or killed by some "nice" people) or in kennels killed again viciously.

Well .. I can't solve anything now. Maybe tomorrow :cry:

Updates ... Mofli is OK it seems. We have another doggie to take care off, Adi is helping a lot too and we are about to give him to adoption. You can read his story on lovingdoggies.com.

I have my own web design firm now. Imagine writing contracts, having to solve a lot of bureucratic issues ... some clients are already working with me, I have a lot of deadlines and not too much sleep unfortunatelly.

I had 2 tooth extractions and 1 more to be done these days. I am getting braces for my lateral teeth and then invisible aligners for all the teeth. 20 months of hell and then a "colgate smile"

I work a lot and seem to not find too much time to rest. I am about to get some vacation from the radio so that I can at least put all my stuff in order .. will keep you posted

ramona, you should really consider getting some rest... that is very important!