Okay here is the situation ....

My oldest, he's 14 [which means he has to attend school], has Aspergers Syndrome (A form of autism), ADHD, epilepsy and a leaky heart valve. Lots of things to go wrong with and lots of labels *sigh*.

He's been having stacks of problems at High School since he started last year, mostly behavioural, and the teachers really don't get the fact that he has Aspergers (some do and are very understanding) and he gets into a lot of trouble. It's like that square peg in a round hole thing he just doesn't fit in like normal kids and he knows it.

I have put in a lot of effort and time into making things better for him but its not working as well as it could. We work with psychologists, paediatricians and other professionals to assist him with his behaviour and language & social problems. We've tried just about everything you could imagine to help from positive & token reinforcement to negative reinforcement (removal of privileges).

Later this afternoon there is a meeting at the High School to determine whether he stays or is expelled. I sure hope that they don't expel him as it would break my heart & I don't know if I could keep my cool and not get either angry or burst into tears. So it's really make or break time.

I am going into this meeting ready to 'FIGHT" for his right to stay as I feel this school is his best hope for an education. I feel that the other High Schools in our area are just not equipped to cope with a student like him.

What would you do if you were me? Go in fighting or be resigned to the fact that he has to go to another school?

That is outrageous! Why should he be expelled for having Aspergers Syndrome? That school should be sued!

At the meeting, you could explain the teachers that, if he gets expelled, it would affect him a lot. He needs to be around normal children, so he can train his social skills (it's part of the treatment right? At least that is what i read...).

I hope everything turns out ok for you and your son.

Wow, you sound like an *awesome* Mom - you've had to deal with more than many people.

It's appalling that the school are thinking about expelling him - I'm sure it's illegal. If they do want to expel him, tell them that they'll need to find you somewhere that he can go, and that how can they possibly expect your son to be able to cope in later life if he's not immersed in it now?

I really do hope it all gets sorted, let us know *hug*

Surely they cannot possibly expel him on the grounds of his behaviour - it's all part and parcel of the condition, or so I've been lead to believe.

Before I even start my rant I'm going to do the same as Sabriel and sing your praises! I know how patronising and annoying it can be for some parents with children who have some form of disability but far too many of you go along in life without your achievements being recognised.

In all honesty I do not know what I would do. I suppose I would try to contact the local education authority (sorry, I'm not sure how it works in Oz) and see what other options they can give. Would it be worth looking into other schools in your area which are better equipped and have the staff who are properly trained to deal with the situations that can arise from particular conditions? I can totally see the benefits of having your son mix with "normal" (I hate that word) children but the benefits of taking him to a special school could out-weigh those of letting him stay where he is.

The plus side, and the biggest of all in my opinion, is that not only would the staff be properly trained but you would also know that they want to help children with disabilities and they understand the conditions and what comes with them.

Apart form that I don't really know what else to suggest. I have no experience of children with such conditions but there is a lady on another forum who has a child with severe autism, she used to write a blog on her every day-to-day experiences and it really opened my eyes as to how difficult it can be, not just with schooling but activities and things like that.

i think i would do a little of both, fight and resign to the idea of moving schools, i know there are charter schools that are designed to help kids with all sorts of circumstances, i dont know if they have those where your at but it might be something to look into. i wish i could help more or have something more of intelligence to say, iv never been in your shoes though. i will keep you in my prayers and hopefully the Lord will let you know what to do.

Thanks for the support and the ideas. I truly appreciate it.

First things first he wasn't expelled but it isn't totally off the cards either. I'll explain what happened in the meeting .. Basically we began with talking about what we have done at home, school & church. We talked about what has been successful in the past, what is or isn't working now and what we could do in the future. This was all discussed before we even had Brodie join us in the latter stages of the meeting.

I told them that I think he has reached a plateau in his learning/behaviour. That changing the geography (meaning changing schools) would not rectify the problem. That all the issues would still be there and they weren't going to change in a hurry. I told them (any my son too) that with all the time and effort we have put in over the past 18 months was important, that it was not wasted and that it would be a shame to throw that all away if we had to leave the school. I told them that it would be harder on Brodie if we made him leave, that change is not a good thing for him (Aspie kids don't like change) and that it would be hard 'teaching' a new group of people how to deal successfully (or otherwise) with him.

Brodie was asked how he felt about his situation and bless him he was very honest with them and very polite as he spoke with the panel. I was proud of him as his behaviour showed the maturity that was required given the seriousness of the meeting. I even told him as much when we were asked to leave the room so that the panel could discuss his future.

Once we were called back in the panel even said that they were impressed with his honesty and told him so. They also said that it was one of the main reasons why they were giving him another chance but there are of course conditions. I expected that there would be. The main one being that Brodie needs to work harder in his sessions with the school counsellor and that he is no longer to 'play' games or mess about while in these sessions. That he must try hard to follow teachers instructions and to try hard not to do the back answering/teasing/calling out.

Things will be reviewed some time next school term but if there is an outburst of violent behaviour, which can happen without warning, his situation will be reviewed immediately and they will then decide whether he stays or not. I am hoping that this wont happen again and I am doing my darnedest to make sure that Brodie follows the school rules as much as he can considering his special needs.

I don't think I have left anything out. We did talk at length though and I think the outcome was better than I expected. I did notice though at one stage, and Brodie noticed too, as the Principal was speaking to him about how he could stay there were tears in his eyes. Brodie said to the Principal that he saw them and the Principal didn't deny that they were tears. He did talk to him about it but I cannot for the life of me remember what he said. I think I was in 'relief' mode by then. So I know at least that he cares what happens for him to have been affected like that.

I wanted to mention a couple of other things also, before I forget and end this novel rofl.
There is no special school that here that Brodie could go to. He is too high functioning to be accepted there.
The school along with myself are trying to get an integration aide for him (at least the funding to try and get an aide for him) we are in the middle of preparing the application for it and he is currently being tested in many different areas such as speech, hearing and eye sight. That was why I stressed to the panel that we have spent a lot of our time and effort on Brodie and his 'school career' and it would've truly been a shame to have wasted it all.

I am still keeping other school in mind 'just in case' we need to at a future date. I need to keep our options open I guess.

im glad everything went well at the meeting, hopefully it will continue and he will thrive.

I'm glad there was a positive outcome to the situation - it seems like you and your son did a great job persuading them, and they do genuinely care about your son's future. I hope it continues to be a positive experience for everyone.

I hope he begins to thrive. It gets a bit tedious when they only focus on the negative behaviours.
Thanks once again for your ideas & support

I'm so happy to hear these news. And i am sure he can thrive. Best of luck